Putting A Pirate In His Place

What kind of girl do you think I am?

We've only just met, hmph ... men!

Dragging me off to your cabin,

With tales of another woman,

Boy do you know romance,

With me, you've not a chance,

Unless you prove yourself true,

You and me, we are through,

For you see,

I am a Lady.

Oh my dear Misslady Rainicorn,

So long I have been forlorn,

Please excuse my lack of decorum,

I've had 100 years of lonely boredom,

When I laid eyes upon you my dear,

I just had to pinch your posterior,

So round and voluptuous,

Oh so very temptatious,

It's perfection, I had to try it,

After all, I am a warm blooded pirate.

Let's get off with a good start,

A rushing hand shows a careless heart,

Our destinies are clearly entwined,

Let's take time to know each others minds,

This whole day has been so very strange,

My mind needs time to rearrange,

Your world, and mine, so different,

Everything here is so magnificent,

But it's all still such a mystery,

I know so little of your history,

There's so much I need to know,

Before together we can grow,

It might help your game,

If I at least knew your name.

If my name is what you need,

For us to grow love's seed,

I will do my best to remember it,

Over 1,000 years I've just been,

"You Dirty Pirate!"

But since you must know,

Here we go,

My name is -

Aristarchos Brabazon Astor
Caelestinus Gorlassar Ortzi
Haakon Phoibos Zeru
Renowned Majestic
Venerated Exalted One
Bringer of Gladness
Light of the Sun
Healer of the Universe-
For short you can call me Uno.

That is quite a mouthful,
I think Uno is wonderful,
Short and sweet, number one,
Just like you my honey bun,
Now I need some rest before we venture,
On our first big adventure,
In my own bed thank you,
My bum is not on tonight's menu,
 Now don't read to much into this,
I will allow you a single bedtime kiss.